Operation: Baby

Yesterday I went to the doctor to check up on the baby.  Everything is going really well. Thursday night he moved into the head-down position and is getting ready to enter the world.   Since he's changed positions, I suddenly find myself remembering this feeling with Taj.  I remember this pressure in my lower abdomen and feeling like my birthing ball is the only place I want to sit. Now, 2 years later I sit on the ball only to have Taj climb on it with me and jump off the ball onto the couch.  Not as relaxing as I once remembered or hoped.  I remember feeling like "I'm done being a science experiment.  I'd really like this baby out."  I can't say that I am at that point just yet.  After all, I am only 33 weeks, but the excitement and disbelief that we are having another baby is starting to set it.  I remember not feeling very lady like at this stage.  It's hard to cross my legs and picking anything up off the floor is a joke.  Sometime Taj helps with the items found down on his level, but many times I'm on my hands and knees crawling.  Then, my soon to be 2 year old jumps on my back for a ride.

I've noticed as well that my mood has changed. I think I am starting to get more reflective and turning inward to prepare for the birthing process.  I have about 3 "To Do" lists that I alternate between.  I am trying to prepare the house and freeze a few meals.  I am not sure if I'd call it "nesting".  I think some of it is my personality.  I'm trying to anticipate my needs and the needs of my family in the first few days and weeks after the baby arrives.  I want things to go as smoothly as possible.  Besides it being obvious that things are going to be slightly streessful, I want do this for R. mainly. He needs a little guidance at times around the house that I won't be able to offer him after the baby arrives.  For example, a week or so ago I asked him to put socks and shoes on Taj in preparation to go out.  He did, but instead of putting Taj's socks on, somehow he stretched the babies new socks on Taj's feet and held them in place with Taj's shoes.  Not the end of the world, I realize that, but after a few small "oops" on just a few hours of sleep ones day can fall apart quickly. 

In in a small way, I am also sad.  Sad that it won't just be me and Taj, my little sweet boy and sidekick.  After all, we do spend A LOT of time together, just Taj and I.  Now, I have to figure out how to offer myself to my 3 boys (and dog).  Overall, I am also excited and joyful that God's given us another blessing.  I'm looking forward to snuggling my new baby.  I'm also excited for Taj to have a brother to grow up with and develop a strong friendship. And I am happy for R. to have off the month of June and spend extended time with our family but especially Taj.  I love seeing their Father-Son relationship grow.